I knew it would happen sooner or later, but it is not something you can't prepare for - feeling grown-up. As Scott, Brendan and I have fallen into a morning routine, I began to notice how different our lives had become.
When Scott and I found out we were pregnant, we were determined for it not to change who we were. We still wanted to be able to go places and do things; our son would just join us on our adventures. But having a child changes you no matter how much you try to stay the same. For Scott, having a new job (which he absolutely loves!) has changed our lives as well. The other morning, as we were getting ready to start our day, I stood in the doorway of our bedroom with a cup of coffee in my hands watch my husband, looking very professional in his shirt and tie, saying good-bye to Brendan. At that moment, it hit me: We are getting old! Here we are in our grown-up outfits, drinking coffee before work, with a baby to care for. We had changed without even expecting it and without much effort. Suddenly, I had a picture in my head of my own father in his business suit saying goodbye to us growing up before he left for work.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing, growing-up, it is just hard. We are no longer the newlyweds fresh out of college talking about our dreams and our future; we are living our future. We are not just playing house in our parents clothes pretending to be grown-up, we are the grown-ups here. It made me realize that we can not sit and discuss what our future is going to hold and what we plan to do "when we grow-up" instead, we have to live each day to the fullest, making the most of today because it is our future. We have chosen our careers and we must continue on to become all we were designed to be. If we continue to "plan" our future, the present will slip past and we may soon find ourselves stuck in a rut with our lives passing by. Already it seems as though our baby is growing so fast, we want to really LIVE through it all.
Speaking of growing-up, here is a picture of my baby yesterday morning: