Love You Forever

Tuesday night, Scott was at Bible Study and so I had the pleasure of putting the boys down to bed alone. Since this has been a major struggle with Brendan lately I was trying to make it as simple as possible. When Brendan asked me to read “the potty book” I couldn’t understand which book he wanted. He brought me Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. We had never read this book before, but I think he was intrigued by the little boy throwing the watch down the toilet. So he crawled into bed and I started reading. (If any of you have not read it, I would encourage you to go read it now, great book, especially for mom’s of boys.)

Being that my child is hyperactive with an extremely short attention span, I was amazed that he actually sat through the entire book. I have read this book many times growing up and have it almost memorized. As I am reading the familiar lines:

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.

I can feel a lump in the back of my throat forming. I’ve known the words for year, but this was the first time these words had meaning, had depth. This stubborn, defiant, troublemaking son of mine that drives my absolutely crazy during the day was staring up at me with his big, beautiful, blue eyes, his little hands clasped ready to pray and I knew that no matter what trouble he caused for me, he is my baby and will always be.

Brendan,
I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living,
My baby you’ll be.

By the end of the book, tears were running down my face. This little boy is growing up so fast, I’m not sure if my heart can handle it.

Not Again...

Last night I was home with the boys waiting for Scott to get home from work.
I was getting the boys ready for our bed-time routine with bath-time and everything else, nothing out of the ordinary.

In throwing away a pretty stinky diaper,
I realized our trash cans were still at the street and decided to bring them in.
Brendan (being the ever curious toddler who wants to be in the middle of everything mommy does) began to follow me outside and I instructed him to stay in the house.

But as I go to bring the cans in,
Brendan is standing in the doorway with the door open and with Caleb,
also trying to follow me, and now screaming/crying.
I can just see it now,
Brendan runs off,
the heavy garage door slams on Caleb.

Deciding to be the muti-tasking mommy,
I pick Caleb up and carry him
since I really only need one hand to bring in empty trash cans.
Brendan (of course) follows.

As I tell him (yell at him?) once more to get back in the house,
I go to open the door…
Brendan has locked us out.

I ever-so-calmly walk to the front door.
Locked.
I had of course locked the deadbolt
since I was home alone with the boys.

Locked out.
Again.
This is the 3rd time in a month…
you would think I would learn!

No keys.
No phone.
Nothing.
Just me and the boys.

Oh, and did I mention Brendan is naked?
Butt Naked.
Nothing on but little white socks.
(It was bath time remember?)

I remind myself that at least Caleb is in my arms
and not locked inside the house.
I look around, Scott should be home fairly soon.

Nicely placed in our garage is the rocking chair,
removed from Caleb’s room when the in-laws came to visit.
So I have a seat.
Now what to do with Brendan’s bare-bum so our neighbors don’t think I’m a terrible mother.
For some reason (not quite sure why)
there are a pair of 2T shorts lying on the ground.
At least his private areas are covered and our garage is now a G rating again.

So we sit.
And wait.
Brendan finds a baseball and practices his overhand pitching,
just in time for baseball season.
Daddy would be so proud.

Scott pulls up about 15 minutes later with the most confused look on his face.
“Why are you just sitting outside on a rocking chair while our son runs around without a shirt on?”
Because I thought,
"Hey!
It’s a Tuesday night,
I have nothing better to do.
Let’s just sit outside until Daddy gets home.
It should be fun!"

At least I haddn’t started the bath water yet…

At the Park

My boys love the park

Especially Brendan.

He must ask to go to the park at least once a week,

Luckily we have a park in our housing community,

perfectly within walking distance.

I can make my kids day just by saying 5 simple words:

"Let's go to the park!"

While Brendan HATES the swing,

Caleb is still at the age where anything outside is fun.

"And if it means playing with Mommy and big brother, I'm in!"

The slide is of course a big hit with Brendan,

This was first time they have gone down together,

Surprisingly,

Brendan did not protest helping his brother go down the slide,

As long as we are at the park,

he is a perfect angel

"Please don't make me go home!"

The wagon is the easiest way to get to the park.

Brendan likes to be Mommy's-little-helper and pull Caleb in the wagon.

If only he knew it would be easier on Mommy to just ride with brother. There is nothing better than an afternoon at the park with my boys!

I guess we aren't perfect parents...

Sunday night was one of the worse parenting moments for me. We put Brendan to bed a little early since he was so fussy for the day, as I was in the kitchen I heard him cry a little and cough. So I went and stood outside Brendan’s door trying to listen, I didn’t want to go in his room and wake him up if he was sleeping. I didn’t hear anything so I went back to what I was doing. As Scott and I were crawling into bed a little later, I decided I would sleep better if I just went and checked on this boys. As I open Brendan’s door I am almost knocked out by the smell. He wakes up and looks at me, the poor kid had thrown up in his bed and then gone back to sleep in the filth because he was so tired. So here he was sleeping for an hour and a half in this gross bed!

I felt like the worse mother ever!

I hollored for Scott who jumped in right away and we were able to clean him up, change his sheets, start a load of laundry, change pajamas and get Brendan back to bed as quickly as possible. He was so miserable, all he wanted to do was to sleep.

I just knew Brendan had thrown-up, why didn’t I just check on him when I heard him fuss? This was one major parenting fail for me!


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I also want to add to this post Scott was a very supportive husband through the entire thing. He took time off work, stayed with Caleb in the hospital, held a sick baby for hours, was thrown up on, and did everything he could to help our sick kids, even while I was out of town. Of course having his mother there during it all was a huge blessing that I know Scott (and I) appreciated. I am lucky to have an amazing husband and father. He is now suffering his own stomach issues from being such a great dad and sharing germs with his kiddos!

While the cats away the mice will....play?

Last week I was gone for a conference at work. We left early Saturday morning, and I left my two little boys home with Daddy (and Grandma & Grandpa) for the week. In preparation for my absence, I left them with easy meals to cook for the week, a daily schedule (3 ½ pages long) of instructions and the boys routine, enough frozen breastmilk and ice cubes of baby food to last the week and a few emergency numbers, just in case. Nothing I could have done would have prepared them for the week they had.

Scott told me on Sunday afternoon that the boys, especially Caleb had just been off since I left. I figured the boys were off their routine, nap-time was messed up and they were just missing their mom. But on Monday, it was obviously more than just missing mom. Caleb threw up a few times, Scott immediately called the doctor on call, which luckily was our own doctor. They were told that if he throws up again, they needed to go to ER/Urgent Care. Sure enough, not long after, Caleb throws up again. (You can imagine how this mama felt over 1,000 miles away in another state, this was the first time I had left Caleb and here they are in the Urgent Care.) The Urgent Care doctor diagnosis him with an ear infection and prescribes two medications.

The next day Scott knows something is not right another call to the doctor and they decide to bring him in for a visit on Tuesday morning. Our doctor takes one look at him and quickly checks his ears and tells us he does NOT have an ear infection (there was $30 wasted), Caleb has “gastroenteritis” (stomach virus, our doctor always uses technical terms that sound much worse than they are). It is very common, very contagious, and usually passes after a few days. However, a small percentage a babies get this and refuse to eat or drink. Hello, Caleb. He gave Grandma until 3:30 to try and get liquids down him. After struggling with a ten month old all day to try and eat in any way possible, including an eyedropper, a defeated Grandma calls the doctor back and they figure most likely Caleb will be admitted to the hospital.

I was holding it together pretty well all day Tuesday until I get the call that he is going to be admitted, I almost lose it. I know he was in good hands, we love our doctor and trust him, Scott was there and is a great dad, especially with the help and support of his parents…but as a mom far away, it was hard.

Caleb was finally admitted to the hospital late Tuesday night and after searching, pricking and holding down a screaming baby for almost 2 hours, he was hooked up to an IV and receiving fluids. Scott stayed the night at the hospital with Caleb on Tuesday night and most of Wednesday. Although exhausted, he makes it to his meeting at work Wednesday afternoon and my mother-in-law stays with Caleb at the hospital.

Although I know that Caleb is in good hands, I am very anxious to get home. Luckily we had an easy flight back to California. My boss’ parents kindly pick me up from the airport at 9:00 at night and take me straight to the hospital where I am finally able to hold my sick baby (and send my MIL home to get some sleep).

As I am in the hospital, I can tell Caleb is already feeling a bit better. I am told that after being tested, it was confirmed that he has Rotavirus, extremely contagious among children. After spending 5 days in Seattle away from my kids, this was the homecoming I received.

1st Tooth!

After my blog post on Friday about Caleb not yet breaking a tooth yet, I was feeding caleb his cereal for breakfast on Saturday, and low and behold...a tooth! I actually had a feeling that one was comming through. He has been having a watery/runny nose all last week and was VERY cranky on Friday, Marion told me that he wouldn't nap at all on Friday and my mom noticed that Claeb had a slight fever on Thursday when we picked him up.

I mentioned to Marion on Friday afternoon that I thought he might be teething. She disagreeed saying that wasn't the problem because he was eating fine, just cranky and not sleeping well. But there it is, one little tooth poking through the skin!

It just goes to show you that I mother knows her child. 2 1/2 years of Mother's intuition is stronger than 42 years of childcare experiance!

Potty Training Brendan

This is how we are now spending our weekends. Potty Training. I dreaded this from the first time we went up a size in diapers. I had been warned, "potty training boys is so hard!" So I avoided it...until it was obvious it was time to move on to the next step. With my mother's help along with support from Marion (our Day Care provider) Brendan began sitting on the potty and actually going when asked around his second birthday. Then with the hernia surgery, baby brother, mom off work, and all other schedule changing events, potty training came to a stand still.

He will go pee-pee on the potty anytime asked, he does not EVER tell us when he needs to go, and will just pee in his pants when he needs to go. Our biggest challenge is getting him to actually sit down long enough to go poo-poo on the potty.

I have done all sorts of research on the subject. Everyone has their own opinions on the best way, best age, and best reward system in potty training. We even bought a book "Being Potty-Wise" or something like that. Our plan was to potty train in a weekend, just like the book and always trustworthy Internet said. That obviously didn't work for us. I thought about using the approach, "He'll potty train when he is ready" but then I thought maybe I was being a little bit lazy with that one. For now, we are just trying what works best for us right now, we encourage it when we can, explain to process, show him the process, make him help clean up the mess so he learns, eventually it will catch on (I hope). I am not too worried yet, he just hit two-and-a-half so we still have a little time. I would like him to be trained by the time he hits his 3rd birthday.


We decided that from now on when we are home on the weekends (and when we are able to on weeknights) we put Brendan in real underwear (Mickey Mouse of course!) and talk about being a big boy and using the big-boy potty. He stayed dry for almost all of Saturday, only one accident (pone Sat, 2 on Sun) which thanks to the Big-Boy-pants, he knew instantly that he had wet and should have gone to the potty.

I guess you can say we are making progress, I just need him to understand when he has the urge he needs to go sit on the potty.

Below is a video of Brendan as we wait to go on the potty. I'm sure this borderlines child abuse as inappropriate pictures/videos that will scar him in his teenage years that his mother showed the world (and I can only imagine what Scott will say when he sees the post) but I just think he is so adorable, and this is a milestone that every child goes through, so why not share?

You have to listen closely at his little voice, but he is learning to count to 20. Usually we do pretty well to 13, but then all the teens sound the same, he is better now than in the video (taken a couple weeks ago).

Feeding Baby

I waited until Caleb was 6 months old to start feeding solids. He turned 6 months on November 18th so we started Caleb on Rice Cereal at Grammi's house during Thanksgiving. Caleb loved food from the beginning. We were still struggling to get him to take milk from a bottle at this time and so we would mix whatever milk was leftover with cereal and feed it with a spoon in order to get him to eat it.

Now, Three months later and you would think that kid had been on solid food for a year now. He still loves to eat. In January, Scott and I mad some tough financial decisions, cutting all bills as much as we could. It was then that I realized, I could not afford to continue to feed my baby as much as he ate! (Or rather, I did not want to afford it.) So what started as an experiment, turned to a necessity. I now make my own baby food. I don't do it to be organic, or because I don't trust Gerber's products, I have just found that making my own is SOOOO much cheaper!

My new friend is the Magic Bullet. With my bullet, I can puree foods in seconds and pour them into 1 oz ice cube trays to freeze for later use. I did this a few times with Brendan, but we mostly fed him store bought food. With Caleb though, he is pretty much solely on homemade baby food.


For many of you, this may not seem like a big deal. A lot of moms go with homemade over store bought. But being a working mom, I am always impressed with myself when I am able to do these "homey" types of activities.

I can find Gerber baby food on sale for $1.00 most places for 2 3.5 oz containers, which is not a bad price. But when my son eats usually about 3 of these a day, sometimes more, the 1 pound bag of carrots for $0.99 is a whole lot better. Without all the preservatives. And Caleb really seems to enjoy it!

I puree the food, freeze it in Ice Cube Trays and then store them in Zip Lock bags. I only make food once sometimes twice a week, and it is a huge payoff in the end. Plus, we can mix-and-match different foods together to give Caleb more variety. Currently in the freezer we have: Mashed potatoes, carrots, peas, apricots, apples, bananas, peach-apple, and squash. Next time we go to the store I would like to get some new flavors to expand his food intake, like blueberries, mango, avocado, the options are limitless!

Beside the pureed baby food, Caleb is starting to really enjoy finger-foods. Soft foods that he can gum to death. Like soft-cooked carrots cut up, cooked zucchini, bits of potato, and his favorite-Cheerios. I'm really enjoys experimenting with food with him, as we learn and experience together!

THAT mom

I am now THAT mom. The one with the "double wide" stroller that walks around talking to herself.

Okay, maybe not doublewide, but double long....

I know that when having two children close in age, it is expected to have a double stroller. And believe me, I defiantly did my homework when looking at double strollers.

***Looking back 5 months***

There I stood in the middle of Babies R us very much pregnant. By myself with a toddler just staring at the wide variety of double stroller options. I had registered for a stroller, but did I really want that one? Was there I better option. I took each one off the shelf, and while 9 months pregnant folded each one up, picked it up to feel the weight, strapped Brendan in and out of each one, took a car seat similar to mine at home, and buckled it in and out. Then stood and contemplated each one.

"This one is smaller" "But this one is prettier" did I want a side-by-side? Front-to-back? Sit-n-stand? Umbrella style? Jogging stroller? So many options! So many decisions! Finally, I ended with the double stroller I had originally registered for. It was veritable, plain, light (relatively speaking) easy to fold/move, and converted to a sit-n-stand as my children get older.

******************

I am very happy with my purchase, we use it all the time! It is quite convenient as it holds Caleb's seat and has a nice seat for Brendan to see where we are going. I use it for shopping the mall, taking a walk to the park, our family vacations, even a quick trip into Target. And yes, I am the crazy mom that talks to herself. But luckily, I can disguise it as talking to my children! There defiantly are some perks to parenting!

Sleeping Update

Thank you all for your advice, sympathy and support with Brendan’s sleeping habits. From friends, to aunts, parents, and co-workers. It seems that most parents have been through this or a similar situation with at least one of their children. It’s nice to know we are not alone and this too passes.

I am happy to say that last Tuesday night was the worst of it. However, we are not through it yet. Going to bed is still hard, but Brendan is getting more used to the idea that bedtime means bedtime. We have been consistent with our bedtime routine every night. Bath at about 8:00, brush our teeth, get dressed for bed, get a drink of water, tucked under the covers, say a prayer, sing a song, and off to sleep. Unfortunately, he is still testing us by getting out of bed a couple of times each night, but the first time we take him by the hand, lead him back to bed and cover him back up. After that, we don’t get up but just tell him to go back to bed so as to not encourage him to think that if he keeps getting out, he will get more of attention from Mom and Dad.

We really do appreciate your advice; the biggest thing we got was to be consistent. Spanking does not work in this situation. It makes no difference to him if he is spanked or if we just send him back to bed, we get the same reaction either way, so we just sit there and send him back to bed so that he doesn’t get a rise or extra attention for misbehaving. Others advised to lock him in his room until he learns he has to stay in his bed. Unfortunately, Brendan’s door is “broken” in that it does not latch all the way, so we would have to install a new door handle and/or lock on his door. Instead, when he really isn’t getting it and settling down, we will lock our door. Since Brendan only wants to get to us and not other places in the house, locking him out of our room seems to work. He will cry, knock on our door and eventually go back to his bed and fall asleep.

This process seems to be working for us. Every night gets a little easier as well as nap time. I hope that he will get used to this routine soon and we will not have to play this game anymore. Until then, we have learned to be patient; there is no point in getting upset, angry or stressed about it. Eventually he will go to sleep!

Sleep

Last night was probably the worst night for sleep that I have ever had. If not ever, at least in the past 2 years.

Brendan is now two. Which means he is starting to really test us and get into his “terrible twos.” With this new “stage” in his life as well as being on vacation for three weeks, his sleeping has been completely altered. Brendan has decided not to stay in his bed any more when we put him to bed. This has become such a challenge for us the past few days. We started last night about 7:30, knowing this was going to be a battle and we were hoping by 8:00 he would settle down and go to sleep. By 8:00, we decided perhaps he wasn’t tired and allowed him to sit on my lap for half an hour before starting again.

This may have set us back, but this is quite a challenge for us. As you may remember when we first transitioned to his own bed, it was a rather smooth transition and he would just stay in bed, never getting out unless you told him he could, this included getting up in the morning. I guess now his two-year-old mind has decided he can get out of bed whenever he wants.

By 9:30, after 2 ½ hours of this nonsense, I was in tears struggling to keep him in bed and to go to sleep. Scott told me to come to bed, and he closed our door. Brendan passed out from exhaustion I am assuming and went to sleep, in his bed. However, at 2:00 am, Brendan got his second wind, he came into our room, which woke up Caleb who decided he then wanted to eat. We put Brendan to bed, again. I fed Caleb. After I was done feeding Caleb (now 2:30), and Scott had put Brendan back to bed at least 4 times, I got up and took Brendan to bed once again. This time I stayed in his room to ensure he did not get up, assuming it would not be long before he went to sleep. I laid down on the twin bed in his room waiting. About every 10 minutes, I would hear “Mommy?” “Go to sleep Brendan.”

After what seemed like forever, I quietly went back to my own bed. As I look at the clock (now 4:00 am) I hear little footsteps following me. You have got to be kidding! Once again, I burst into tears, I’m tired, I’m stressed and I really need sleep! Scott puts Brendan back to bed again, and locks our door. We hear Brendan get up, try to open our door and start crying and knocking. I’m so frustrated, yet it breaks my heart to hear him knocking to get to us.

After 15 minutes of us ignoring his cries, he gives up and goes back to bed. I finally get back to sleep about 4:30/4:45. Morning came early as you can expect.

I’m not sure if it is the lack of sleep I have had lately, the hormones still out of whack, the return to work after my leave or what, but I have been on the verge of tears the past few days. I’m easily upset, exhausted when I get home from work and don’t have much of a desire to do anything.

Any advice from veteran parents? Scott thinks there is something wrong with Brendan, I’m pretty sure this is a stage that many children go through. Thoughts? Ideas? HELP!

Life as a mom

You know that you are a mother of boys when you reach into your purse and in the place of lipsticks, you find crayons and three small "Race Cars".

At first it was frustrating because, well I really needed lipstick this morning, but then my heart was softened. I love playing cars with my boy, and who really needs lipstick anyway? The cars are totally worth it.

Can't it just be Teething?

I was thinking back to Brendan's mood changes over the past year and a half. Before he was a year old, whenever he would get fussy, cranky, or have a noticeable change in behavior, people would tell me "he's probably just teething" and the pain from cutting teeth would explain away any difficult behaviors. When his sleep pattern was off it was usually "he must be going through a growth spurt". My favorite was during his infrequent or picky eating sessions was typically blamed on "teething."

Now my baby is 20 months old, although he still has a few teeth to cut, we usually have the signs of teething down. So the frequent mood changes, resistant attitude, temper tantrums, lack of eating, or pickyness in feedings are no longer able to be explained away by his developing mouth. The excuse I hear now from other parents, day care and others is "it's just a phase he is going through right now."

To be honest I think I preferred the teething. At least you knew with teething the change in behavior would go away after a few days. With the "phase" you never know how long it could last. We could be in this "phase" for a couple days, weeks, months or with my luck, until he is a teenager. I guess then it isn't a phase.

I'm not saying my kid is a bad kid, he actually minds pretty well, and isn't a complete terror. But our daycare says that his actions are starting to emerge that she expected 6 months ago. He finally learned the word "no" at 20 months, has started being more aggressive with the other kids, including hitting and pushing when he doesn't get his way. I do want to clarify that Brendan is not a bully, he has three other toddler boys at daycare with him, and they all seem to be going through this together. Brendan's little temper has started to emerge as well, especially when we tell him no. Nap times are more difficult as he has begin to fight us on these, although it is fairly obvious when one is needed. By the time I get him down for a nap, it is nap time for myself as well. I understand this is a learning time for both me and Scott as parents, but also for Brendan as he learns boundaries and right and wrong, but I much preferred when I knew it would only last a couple days.

I have a feeling the terrible two's are upon us!

Toddler Discipline

The other night we had our friends over to visit and have the toddler boys play together. I watched my friend as she tried to discipline her 17-month-old with the limited logical and understanding skills they posses. As she is sternly correcting him for hitting, very upset with him, he walks over to his mom with a big smile on his face and kisses her. She turns to me with defeat on her face.

"It's hard to be mad at him when he just wants to give kisses."

Discipline for a toddler is tough, especially when they don't really understand what is going on. It just takes time, until then, I'll take the kisses!

17 months!

It is amazing to me that my little baby is now 17 months old. Walking, Talking, basically - no longer my baby! I scoop him up all the time, cradle him like a newborn and ask "Where is my baby!?" his response is to throw his head back and cackle at me.

We are having so much fun with him. Although I miss the times of sitting in a rocking chair with a sleeping baby in my arms, I love to chase him around the house, giggle laugh and explore. Everything is new to him, and it is so exciting for us during this age.

Last night, Brendan and I had a "date night". Although it probably wasn't really his choice of events for the night, we did some Christmas shopping. We first started at McDonald's, I can't believe how big my boy is getting, he wont even sit in the highchair anymore but wants his own seat.

Brendan loves his happy meal and was eating his hamburger all by himself. Mr. Independent wants no help eating his food, no even the yogurt Mommy shared with him. I love that McDonald's has more choices for a meal. I asked for sliced apples instead of French Fries, which Brendan will actually eat better than French fries, and I can take them with me for him to eat later, they also gave me a carton of milk instead of sugary soda. Brendan also gets a Preschool toy for 3 and under to play with instead of the older toy that typically comes with the meal. For my meal, I replaced the fries with a Yogurt Parfait which Brendan actually ate most of.

After we spent almost an hour at McDonald's eating, laughing and playing, we went to the Mall. Brendan was so well behaved and mom drug him from store to store doing Christmas shopping and finishing Daddy's stocking. It is times like last night that I will remember and treasure. I'm sure he has already forgotten it, but I hope to have days like that at least once a month that is just Brendan and Mommy, even after the baby is born.

Real Parents

After Brendan was away from Day Care for a week, plus two weekends of course, I knew Marion was a little worried at how Brendan would react coming back, getting back into her routine and adjusting back to his “normal” life. When I picked Brendan up on Monday afternoon, I was surprised at her reaction. Not the typical “It was a rough day Mum” (remember the English accent), or “He’s cranky today Mum.”

Instead, we had this conversation:

Marion:“I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re doing something right”
Rachel: “What’s that??”
M: “You are doing something right, he came back to me like he never left.”
R: “Oh?”
M: “I had no problems today, he just fell right back into his routine.”
R: “Well, we try to keep him on a pretty consistent routine at home too, nap times are around the same time, and bed time is always at 8:00.”
M: “A lot of parent’s are go, go, go, with no routine. You guys are real parents.”
R: “Thank you? I guess?”

It was a compliment I guess. A rather strange one to be called “Real Parents” but I appreciate her attempt. I was glad to hear Brendan didn’t give her a hard time back at Day Care. And it was nice to have confirmation that as parents we are doing something right. When everything else seems to be going wrong, he has bumps and bruises all over, he won’t eat well, I get temper-tantrums in the grocery store – but at least we’re doing something right.

Pretty Baby

When I was pregnant I knew that I would think that my baby was cute and love him no matter what, but I truly believe he is simply beautiful! I just stare at him all the time. My sister laughs at me because just out of the blue I will tell her "he is so pretty!" and "Isn't he the most beautiful baby ever?"

I really thought that I would not be one of those parents that asked the loaded question, but I do find myself, every once in a while, asking if the person thinks Brendan is adorable. Of course everyone has agreed with me, who would really tell a new mother that her baby was ugly. You may not agree with me but I think that my baby is the prettiest baby EVER!

Since the day he was born I knew that I was in trouble. This little thing that I had carried around for OVER nine months was finally in my arms and I never wanted to put him down. Even this morning, 7 weeks old, I picked him up when he was falling asleep, he snuggled into my chest and I thought for a brief moment "what if I just stayed home from work and held my baby all day?" But instead, I loaded him into his car seat, and drove him to daycare. My heart hurts every time I drop him off. He is just so wonderful, I never want to leave him.