Friday, September 18

Morning Breakdown

This morning as I was rushing around the house getting ready, Brendan was following after me whining and fussing at me. He doesn't like it when I rush in the morning. I'm not sure if he is afraid I am going to leave him or if he just wants his time with me to be still. He enjoys sitting on the bathroom counter as I do my hair & make-up and while we brush our teeth together. But the rest of the morning frustrates him.

I have tried to make things easier on him. I try to get up, shower and get dressed before he gets up so we have more time together, but this morning just wasn't working for me. Finally out of frustration for both of us, I sat down in my closet while looking for a pair of shoes and just held him. He sat on my lap, Monkey and Milk in hand for almost 10 minutes. It was at that time that I realized that everything else could wait, my baby needed me. I need to treasure the time he does want to cuddle and not push him off until it is convenient for me. So there we sat. We sang, we talked, every once in a while he would look up at me with those big blue eyes and give me a kiss. I needed that this morning.

It wasn't until we got to Day Care that we had another major melt-down. (Okay, maybe not that major since I have seen worse, but it was still hard on me.) When we go inside I took away his FP Little People that he had been carrying around. Marion doesn't need one more toy in her house, and it was destined to get lost, so I told my 14 month old that I would leave it in his car seat for when I picked him up. Sounds logical right? Have you ever tried reasoning with a 14 month old? It didn't work. Instead he looked up at me, stuck out that fat bottom lip and those big blue eyes filled with tears. I broke my baby's heart! I kneeled down to say good-bye and he crawled into my lap. This time I really didn't have time to hold him, sing with him and give kisses. I told him I loved him, gave him a kiss and his monkey and left him in the arms of (a very capable) Marion.

What a morning.

I miss my baby.


Brenda said...

Sounds like life to me. What a great story. You really need to submit these to different places and get published. You're a great mommy, it was nice to read how you put other things aside to hold your baby. My 6'1" baby came through the door today, bent down and gave me a kiss. No more cuddling for him.

She-Davis said...

Taylor has a comfort monkey too!