I'm not sure what was going on, perhaps it was the stillness of the house, perhaps it was the stress from work, but whatever it was, as I was wrapping up the glass bottles my son used to depend upon, tears began to slowly creep down my face.
I no longer sit and cuddle my baby with a bottle before bed, I no longer wake up in the morning cuddling my baby in bed while he had is morning bottle, then drifting back to sleep in my arms. Soon, my baby won't even need a crib and we will be putting him in a toddler bed.
Where did my baby go?
Instead of an evening bottle cuddled in my arms, my son carries around his cup of whole milk while playing with his trucks.
Instead of crying for his bottle in the morning, he is standing in front of his high chair, motioning to get in for breakfast.
Instead of waking up at 5:30 crying for my comfort, he sleeps peacefully until at least 6:30, and then usually plays in his crib until I am ready to get him ready for the day.
My baby is no longer my baby.
I am excited for the possibilities with him, he is learning something new every day. Walking and running all over the house, discovering toilet paper rolls and mommy's make-up. Learning how to climb up and down the couch, step in and out of doorways, run and play in the grass.
Yes, I am sad that I will never get those moments back, but they have been stored in my heart. Instead, I want to focus on experiencing what I have with Brendan now; how he sat on my lap this morning to put on his new shoes, when he shares my frozen yogurt with me, the fun we have splashing in his pool. These are the moments I treasure most.
I wiped away the few tears on my cheek, finished packing away the baby bottles, and put in a movie to break the silence. I love my baby boy. It's like the book "Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.