Wednesday, September 2

Where, oh where, did my Baby Boy go?

Last night, after Brendan went to bed, the house was quiet. Scott still wasn't home from his long day and I decided to try and be productive. I sat down in my living room floor with a brown box, tissue paper and stack of baby bottles, nipples and pacifiers. I have been saying for a while that I needed to clean out Brendan's cupboard of his baby bottles to make room for all the new sippy cups we are using. And so I began to pack up the things that make my baby a baby.

I'm not sure what was going on, perhaps it was the stillness of the house, perhaps it was the stress from work, but whatever it was, as I was wrapping up the glass bottles my son used to depend upon, tears began to slowly creep down my face.

I no longer sit and cuddle my baby with a bottle before bed, I no longer wake up in the morning cuddling my baby in bed while he had is morning bottle, then drifting back to sleep in my arms. Soon, my baby won't even need a crib and we will be putting him in a toddler bed.

Where did my baby go?

Instead of an evening bottle cuddled in my arms, my son carries around his cup of whole milk while playing with his trucks.

Instead of crying for his bottle in the morning, he is standing in front of his high chair, motioning to get in for breakfast.

Instead of waking up at 5:30 crying for my comfort, he sleeps peacefully until at least 6:30, and then usually plays in his crib until I am ready to get him ready for the day.

My baby is no longer my baby.

I am excited for the possibilities with him, he is learning something new every day. Walking and running all over the house, discovering toilet paper rolls and mommy's make-up. Learning how to climb up and down the couch, step in and out of doorways, run and play in the grass.

Yes, I am sad that I will never get those moments back, but they have been stored in my heart. Instead, I want to focus on experiencing what I have with Brendan now; how he sat on my lap this morning to put on his new shoes, when he shares my frozen yogurt with me, the fun we have splashing in his pool. These are the moments I treasure most.

I wiped away the few tears on my cheek, finished packing away the baby bottles, and put in a movie to break the silence. I love my baby boy. It's like the book "Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.


Kevin and Bekah said...

I was just telling Scott how well you write. You are just as cute as that bald little boy.

John and Alisha Stults said...

That's so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. Brendan will always be your baby, even when he's 21. And I am learning that there is always a special bond between a boy and his mama.

Christina said...

I agree with all of the above! You are an excellent also made me tear too. I also love that book!

Monday was a rough day for Hailey and I. She hasn't been sleeping well and I got frustrated. Your blog made me stop and think that time is flying by, even if Hailey is having a rough night, I need to stop and enjoy the moment! Thank you for sharing!

Random Thoughts said...

Oh my gosh Rachel, I'm sittin here cryin over my toast. I miss your baby boy, I miss my baby boy and I sure miss your blogs which so touch my heart! Wish I could give you all a big hug right this minute.

Brenda said...

I have loved every moment with my babies, from that first moment that they were placed in my arms looking up with those huge blue eyes to when they turn into mommies themself and call me to share about little thing like installing a new car seat. Enjoy every moment and remember them always.

She-Davis said...

I LOVE that book and read it to my girls!

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!